Alone bcoz it's too late
by Arisa-chan -07
Summary: She can't take it anymore. She's been keeping all the pain inside, she tried to hide it and just smile. but it's not enough so she decided to end all of her misery. is this really goodbye? what will she do? RnR


Hello guyz… this is another sad oneshot that I've made. I put in here a long poem that I made that describes what she really feels. I don't know why I keep on writing or rather typing sad oneshots. But oh well, I hope all of you will like this one. But I'm warning you that it's so sad. Reviews guyz!!! Any kin of review would be greatly appreciated… P 

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice…

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_In life…_

_No! Rather in loving…_

_There is always bitterness…_

_Problems always come in the way…_

_But it's what makes loving someone sweeter, right?_

_But maybe not for her..._

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…**_Alone bcoz it's too late…_**

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_They always said that…_

_It's hard to love and _

_To force someone to love you back_

_But is it really that hard?_

_Isn't there something harder than these?_

_But for me it's not_

_I don't even think it is_

_Why? _

_There are always simple reasons _

_that are so complex_

_Love just come to us_

_It comes without us noticing it will come_

_Especially when we least expected it_

_You'll be love by other people_

_With you not knowing it_

_So how is it hard?_

_When you didn't know when it will come?_

_When you didn't even know it's already there?_

_When you will never notice or_

_know that's what you feel?_

_It's true that it hurts_

_But there's something harder to do than this_

_Isn't it hard to lie?...to pretend?_

…_to let go…_

_That's what I've been doing for so long_

_It's hard to pretend that…_

_I'm okay even if I'm not_

_It's hard for me to smile when _

_I almost felt like crying_

_All I did was to pretend…_

_To lie…_

_I just keep all the hurt inside my heart_

_I keep on smiling whatever happens_

_I know what they think of me_

_As an idiot… a nuisance_

_But what they didn't know is that…_

_Behind of all these smiles_

_I feel so lonely_

_I cry when I'm alone_

_When no one is around_

_So that no one will see me cry_

_I don't want them to worry_

_If they ever care about me_

_But still no one notice_

_No one understand_

_No one care_

_No one love me_

_They're not been worried even once_

_They didn't show or even just let me feel_

_What I wanted the most_

_What I needed the most_

_To be loved_

_Even once…just once…they don't!_

_I want them to show and let me feel that_

_They care, they understand and _

_They love me_

_They said they're my friend_

_But I don't know if I'll still believe in that_

_I don't know if I will still trust them_

_They never let me feel important even once_

_I don't expect them to understand_

_Because now I know they wouldn't_

_Because I'm different_

_I know I am_

_Behind these smiles_

_The smile that I always wear with my cheerfulness_

_There lies a face_

_Full of sadness and pain_

_A person that wanted to be understand_

_A person that wanted to be cared for_

_A person that wanted to…_

_Be loved_

_Even after all what I did_

_I'm here again in the darkness_

_Crying all alone even though that smile is still visible_

_Then when I remember that_

_It added to the pain I already felt_

_I remember when I once tried to talk you _

_But all you said is you didn't care about me_

_It hurts_

_It hurts so much_

_Now I know I won't have a chance_

_Then another hard thing came_

_I need to decide right now_

_I need to let you go_

_Especially now that I knew you didn't care at all_

_No one cares at all_

_I don't know if I can_

_Can I really let you go?_

_When you just said you don't_

_care a single thing about me_

_it already hurts so much_

_Nonetheless if I let you go_

_All that I wanted is to make you smile_

_To save you from the darkness_

_But you keep on pushing me away_

_I shouldn't have tried to make you smile_

_If I just know that it will hurt this much_

_Even my so-called best friend didn't care_

_She doesn't even treat me as a friend_

_Such a kind friend she is_

_But in spite of all that had happened_

_I need to continue my life_

_My life without my friends_

_Without my best friend_

_And without him _

_At first I thought it would be easy_

_I keep on ignoring everyone_

_But I'm wrong once again _

_It's not that easy to forget_

_I'm now giving up_

_I can just think of one way how to end all of this _

_I'm sorry_

_I can't_

_I can't take all of this anymore_

_I wanted to act like it's nothing even though it **is**_

_I really wanted to_

_But I just can't _

_I'm really sorry_

_I think this will be goodbye_

_Thank you_

_For making me feel important _

_Even if it's not true_

_Thank You_

With that she takes a last look from a picture she's holding and to her diary where she's writing all what she really feels. It's a picture of her with her friends. They're all there – all of her friends and him.

Then after that everything becomes blurred and it seems everything to be in slow motion. A piece of glass can be heard falling on the floor and break into pieces. She remembers all her happy memories with them. Everything. She smiles when she remembers all of her friends as she heard drops of red liquid dripping on the floor. Her breath slowed as well as the beat of her heart. She called for his name for the last time with the last breath she had as she slowly fall on the ground cold and limp. She's now gone. The stains of tears can be clearly seen on her face but that smile of hers never fades. She's now happy because she never feel again all the pain that she felt. But she's sad at the same time when she remembers all her happy memories because she will never see them again, she will never see him, NEVER.

Then the door suddenly flew open revealing all of her friends and him. They are shocked on what they saw. Her room was mess up but it's not what shocked them. It's her lying helplessly on the floor. They slowly went near her as tears started to well up on their eyes. Yes, they're crying for the loss of the one who changed them. The one who makes everyone happy. But now she's gone. They didn't even have a chance to show her how much they cared. And for the first time the ice queen can be seen crying. Crying with the loss of her friend… her best friend. She shake her hoping that she's just joking while tears continue to fall on her eyes. But however hard they tried there was no response. They were too late.

"Mikan please wake up. Please don't leave us. We need you." her friends keep on saying but it will not bring her back to life. And the famous Kuro Neko can also be seen crying. Crying for the loss of her light. For the loss of the girl she loves.

"Mikan I'm sorry. I love you." Was all he could say as he approaches her cold body and hug her tightly. He wanted to tell her how much he cared and loved her. He wanted to show her. They all wanted to prove that they cared. Now they're all blaming themselves. But they can't do anything on what is done. Because it is too late…

Now…

He's alone again…

But not only him…

She's also alone again…

They lose her...

And most of all...

She lose them... him...

so does it make anything sweeter?

nothing happened to their...

"Together Forever!"

there is no such...

"a happy ending!"

love stays not only forever but for eternity...

and...

death can never separate two people...

who truly love each other...

...but **not** for them...

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-owari-

Arisa-chan: Hi guyz... waaaah! sorry... i deleted the summaries on my profile and the poll... i think you already got a clue on my future stories... so that's it... and another reason is..well...i don't like displaying y ideas for so long... hehehe... you already know why?!


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